Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Holy shit dude........stairs
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
