i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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