I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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