please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Randomize
