youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I would ride that face into the sunset
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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