doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
