there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
