Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
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