I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
