I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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