Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize