Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
