I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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