Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
