It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
