Nicole vs. Life
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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