; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
