A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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