Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
