I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize