In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
