So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize