I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
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