chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
I see more hoeing in ur future
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
