I understand Curling. That high.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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