Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
