where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Randomize
