office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
