hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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