I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
