his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize