I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
