I'm lost and stupid without you.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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