mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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