He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Randomize
