One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
