Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
