i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
