Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
