Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
