Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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