so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Randomize
