She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
