I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
