Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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