I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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