Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
