Tell her she can't have a vagina
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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