But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
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