Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
