She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
