If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
