I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
