around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
