Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
