Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
