I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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