You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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