All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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