dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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