Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
