ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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